What Not To Do In a Relationship.

I am obviously single. That label made me feel like an outcast within my circle of friends once upon a time. Every event always turned into a couple's thing. I became uncomfortable to the point that I did not want to attend anymore of these events. There seemed to always be game of The Farmer in the Dell going on and I was always the cheese standing alone towards the end. Remember that song? 

The farmer in the dell

The farmer in the dell

Hi-ho, the derry-o

The farmer in the dell

The farmer takes a wife

The farmer takes a wife

Hi-ho, the derry-o

The farmer takes a wife

The wife takes a child (2x)

Hi-ho, the derry-o

The wife takes a child

The child takes a nurse (2x) . . .

The nurse takes a cow (2x) . . .

The cow takes a dog (2x) . . .

The dog takes a cat (2x) . . .

The cat takes a rat (2x) . . .

The rat takes the cheese (2x) . . .

The cheese stands alone

The cheese stands alone

Hi-Ho, the derry-o

The cheese stands alone

Such a sad song when you are always the cheese! I was resentful about the situation. Incase you did not know, feeling bitter about something , actually makes you feel worse about yourself. I removed myself from that environment completely and emerged in the party life a little more. There were no more Farmer in the Dell feelings. The new feeling was the one every girl gets when singing the Kentucky song. 

We're going to Kentucky We're going to the fair To see the senorita With flowers in her hair. Shake it shake it shake it, Shake it like you care, Shake it like a milkshake, And shake it everywhere. Shake it to the bottom, Shake it to the top. Now turn around and turn around Until you make a stop. S-T-O-P spells stop.

My outings are once again filled with silliness, laughter, and crying. (I will forever be grateful for these ladies because they brought me back to life. ) Regardless of some of them being in a relationship, when we're out,  it's always a blast. Not once have I felt like an outcast. We don't go  running around like wild single woman picking up men. In our book we dance the night away and enjoy fun random nights and trips. No one is going home early, flaking , or on their phones all night. Everyone should be able to participate in a life like this , in addition to everything else they have going on.  

Some people go into relationships and immediately cut the rest of the world off. Does that seem like the normal thing to do for you? It may seem normal, because the not so normal thing in our society seems to be having a life outside your relationship. It is as if a lot people forget that they were born alone and that they had a life before the relationship. To them, parties are for the singles. They only do gatherings with other couples now. He goes where ever she goes , vice versa and it suddenly becomes "we" and "my other half". When were you ever one half? I don't see people walking around with half a body.  If I am blind let me know.  It's not a coincidence that my favorite couples do not live up each other's asses 24/7. I find that to be a beautiful thing. I don't want that co-dependency on another human being. The fact that  society makes it normal behavior to become co-dependent on our significant others, makes it harder to find another person that is not OK with it. I have faced the fact that it might take me a bit longer to meet someone who shares similar views on this matter. Until then, I am OK with being single. If it means being able to have a life outside of my relationship when I do have one, then hey! WHY NOT?